i'm in a really weird place right now. a really weird place. and probably the hardest part about it all is the fact that i have no one i can talk to about it.
i've never been a very talkative guy. i've always been a very reserved person. and i think most of that comes from my experiences as a child. i usually sit back and watch others interact and see how they handle situations. its helped me a lot, but i guess the one draw back is once i form an opinion of someone, its hard for them to change that opinion.
another thing is i have abandonment issues. i acknowledge my problems, i'm open about them, but i guess i haven't figured out how to cope with them per se. i think this is why i don't open myself up to people, i refuse to allow myself to get close to someone out of fear that one day they will leave me. i think this is also why my biggest fear in life is death. you don't come back from that.
i'm in a really weird place right now. maybe i'll finish telling my story another day.
look for the peace, the quite simplicity. You're prolly introverted--like me and lots of other people. So just find some calm and think through your problems. I may not be the best at giving advice, but even I know that simple contemplation works. You may want to talk to somebody though. Like, a random person. Maybe a shrink. Try an online chat room (it is excessively rare to find one that will not be full of trolls). But try. Don't go in with hugely high hopes. But just think through things.
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