i'm in a really weird place right now. a really weird place. and probably the hardest part about it all is the fact that i have no one i can talk to about it.
i've never been a very talkative guy. i've always been a very reserved person. and i think most of that comes from my experiences as a child. i usually sit back and watch others interact and see how they handle situations. its helped me a lot, but i guess the one draw back is once i form an opinion of someone, its hard for them to change that opinion.
another thing is i have abandonment issues. i acknowledge my problems, i'm open about them, but i guess i haven't figured out how to cope with them per se. i think this is why i don't open myself up to people, i refuse to allow myself to get close to someone out of fear that one day they will leave me. i think this is also why my biggest fear in life is death. you don't come back from that.
i'm in a really weird place right now. maybe i'll finish telling my story another day.
