the one in which a mysterious figure comes to save the day

The hero was slain, but my world continued to turn, and why shouldn't it. Who was I to think I was some forgotten son sent to save the world from all the gore and horror it unleashed upon itself. Who was I to think I was more important than the blue beetle that crawled across the palm of my hand as I tried to get up. Who was I?

"You're motherfuckin JJ Franz bitch!" a voice from above me said as I began to feel a hand being placed upon my scalp and pulling me upwards towards the sky.

Ouch is what I would have screamed if the words had not escaped me, or maybe GOD, IS THAT YOU, would have been more poignant in the moment, but neither mattered, because as soon as my eyes came back into focus I was lost in a sea of green. His eyes was a vast sea full of hope and desire and I just wanted to remain lost in them until forever ended. He was the most beautiful dreaded creature I had ever came across, and his skin was like chocolate. If I ate chocolate, this would be my favorite.

"So you still don't eat chocolate, eh? I assumed that was a phase, but I guess I assumed wrong" the green eyed man said with the calmest, deepest voice my ears had the pleasure to hear.

"You, you, you heard that?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm not deaf or anything, and you were just talking. Was I not suppose to hear that?" he said with a smirk before offering his hand to help me stand. A hand with the words "LIFE" and "DEATH" carved into them.

"So...um, yeah. You heard all of that? Vast sea? Lost? Beautiful? Chocolate?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, okay. Not embarrassing at all"

"Its cool J, I've known you long enough to not be weirded out by you,and after seeing you get your ass whooped by that pansy I think the whole talking to yourself thing is pretty insignificant."

"Yeah man, I've been having this problem with the inner-monologue thin---How the fuck do you know my name?"

"You really don't remember me?"

"Green eyed black man, I'd think I'd remember you."

"Good point, but you obviously don't," he said sinking his head a little. "Its okay though, no one seems to remember me. Its like I'm invisible or something. But you should really get that eye looked at, looks like someone spit battery acid at you in the middle of childbirth."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. the HUlks over here," I said pointing back towards the empty parking lot, "I think I have a first aid kit."

"Hulk?"

"My baby! You'll understand when you see her."

And he did. His green eyes lit up when he first saw her. He took the palm of his hands and ran them across the bed of the truck before plopping himself down on it and staring at the full moon that paraded across the sky.

"So you're really into this whole comic book thing, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So whats your chosen power? Whats your ability?"

"Emphatic mimicry, you know,like Peter Petrelli from Heroes. I'm too indecisive to just choose one, and then there's the side of me that wants to do it all."

"You're still the same J I rememeber."

"How do you know my name?"

"So, you wouldn't happen to be a cheerleader would you?"

"No. Why would it matter?"

"It would make what I'm about to do even better."

"Which is?"

"SAVE THE WORLD"

He screamed before grabbing my bloodied face and pulling it towards his. As soon as his lips touched mine it was as if I had been transported to a different universe. None of my problems existed. The pain dissolved. And the rain evaporated. I was in bliss, everything felt right, until it didn't. Until I remembered I didn't know who this beautiful, green-eyed, dreaded creature was. He knew me, but I didn't know him. What if this was some new plot to destroy me and destroy my world. Was he a distraction? Was this even real? WHO IS HE!!!!

"Don't fight it J, just go with it. You know me, I promise. Just go with it. Go with it."

And I did. I let down my guard. Knocked down my walls, and lost myself in him. Life was good for a moment, and then it was over. And for a second time in one night, another man disappeared into the night, but this one left no name. The only thing that remained was the marks on my hands.

LIFE

and

DEATH.

the one in which the hero goes after the villain

But it was raining, and I couldn't let him walk home in the rain. The kid is a terrible swimmer. He almost drowned two weeks earlier when I decided at the age of nineteen it was time for him to learn a new skill. So there was no way he could survive this torrential rain for more than an hour. He was no Eagle scout like me, he lived a sheltered life without a care in the world, so I pulled on my coat, got out of the Hulk, and went running into the wilderness like the super hero I knew I was, in search of my damsel in distress.

And after a couple of minutes of searching, I finally found him. Just standing there looking up at the sky like all his answers lied above. There was a strange calmness in the air surrounding him. While I was being soaked by the rain, it seemed as if every drop hovered above his skin, and slump off his imaginary force-field. It was a surreal experience, and one I hoped would last forever, but it didn't. He turned around with that stupid smirk on his face, looked me in my eyes, and then I found his fist and was greeted quickly by the muddied earth.

"Ouch!"

I should have stayed down. Every nerve in my body told me to. Every emotion, every thought, every memory backed up my theory that if I got up something bad would happen. But I didn't and I hate myself for that because staying down is the one thing I'm any good at.

When I was four, Little Susie Jenkins stole my glue and pushed me down a flight of stairs. I never bothered to get up that day. When I was nine, big Jessie McMillan gave me my first kiss, pushed me down, and said I had cooties. Did I get up then, no, I stayed down until my teacher asked me what was wrong. And when I was sixteen and had dreams of becoming the greatest catcher in Major League Baseball, Bob the Bulldozer ran into me at home plate. I broke my leg that day and a part of me died inside.I didn't get up then, and I never picked up a glove, so what made me get up this day I don't know, but I should have stayed down. I should have, but my hero complex caught up with me, and I had to save the damsel, but as soon as I picked myself up off the ground I found his fist again.

But this time my stomach took the hit and I ended up on the ground again. I laid there like a possum hoping he would think I was dead and would flee the scene, but he didn't. He just stood there, hovering over me, staring down at me with his cold eyes. I couldn't take the silence anymore, so I picked myself up and started screaming.

"I get it! I hurt you, you're upset! I understand, I really do! I'm sorry it ended up like this,but...just get in the car before you dro--"

But before I could finish my plea to him, I found his fist one last time, and as I slowly met the ground I saw him disappear into the darkest night. It was over, and I stayed down in the mud this time, while the blood stained water infected the muddied earth. I wanted to basque in my defeat. The hero was slain and the bad guy escaped to live another day. The hero was slain and the world continued to turn. the hero was slain...

life lesson number one: life is not like and episode of power rangers. the good guys don't always win.

the one in which the hero leaves the villain

The rain trampled on the hood of my car as we sat silently inside my lime-green pickup truck. The neighborhood kids called her “the Abomination,” because of the quiet growl she makes whenever I press the brakes, but she was always Hulk to me and Betsy to the guy who stared at me across the books that cozily existed between us.

He was a nice young boy who came from a good family. He went to a good school, had a great job, and still found time to hang with me. He was everything I wanted to be and for some reason he chose me. It wasn’t like he had a choice though. We lived in a small town, so when you found another guy that also likes guys, then you have one of two choices.

a. Immediately fall in love and adopt foreign babies

b. Ignore each other like you both have the plague

c. Play it cool, become friends, and fuck like rabbits

And we chose option C, except one drunken night we somehow ended up making it official, like a bunch of heterosexuals, and now here we are, inside the Hulk. Sitting silently in the middle of an empty parking lot watching as the stars fell gracefully from the sky. I closed my eyes for just one second to make a wish,

“I hope this goes well.”

And by the time I opened them he had already made his move, pouncing on me like a dog in heat. Before I could say no his cherry flavored tongue was down my throat.

“Great,” I thought “I’m gonna die.”

Or atleast I thought I thought it. Because he quickly pulled away and gave me a look of confusion.

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked, like a hurt animal.

“Fuck, that was supposed to have been a part of my inner monologue. The shits been fuckin up on me lately. You weren’t suppose to hear that babe. Everythings good though. Continue please,” and he did.

He ravished my mouth like a pack of lionesses attacking a hurt gazelle in a savanna. Once he was done with my mouth he moved downward. First to my neck, then to my chest, and when he reached my mid-torso he slowly began counting every rib in my body with a lick, before he began to kiss my stomach more haphazardly. He paused for a second, did a couple Hail Marys and quickly attacked his favorite destination on my body with his mouth. I was in heaven.

“Fuck! I’m going to die!” I thought as I began to sweat and feel my throat tingle, but once again my thoughts escaped my mind and exited through my mouth. And this time they were greeted by a tirade of comments firing from the boys mouth.

“What the fuck J! What’s wrong!”

“Nothing,” I said and motioned for him to continue, but this time he didn’t. He wiped the saliva off his mouth, pulled some gum out of his pocket, stuck a piece into his mouth, and pulled his hair back away from his face.

“What the fuck is wrong J! Tell me now!”

“Fine!” I yelled, “I can’t do this anymore. Its not working. We’re done kid. I’m sorry.”

“You’re done?” he said half smiling “You can’t be fucking done J, we’re good. I love you.”

LOVE<3

That word again. That four letter word that built me up and broke me into a million tiny pieces the last time I believed someone actually loved me. If this wasn’t the perfect reason to end this farce of a relationship, then there wasn’t a reason out here.

“I’m sorry kid. You don’t love me. You don’t know what love is. Love is dead and so are we, I’m sorry. I really am, but we should have never been. I was drunk when I asked you, I don’t even remember asking. I just remember waking up beside you the next morning with my ring around your finger. This is why I don’t drink, because I do stupid shit and I black out. I’m sorry kid, I really am, I hope we can still be friends.”

And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The F word. FRIENDS; / My ex used that line on me and I wanted to strangle her with her own hair. Her long beautiful purple hair, so I can only imagine how the kid felt. I never felt he was a hundred percent emotionally there, and his reaction only confirmed my suspicions.

“Friends, fuck that shit. We were never friends in the first place. You’re just being fucking ridiculous J, as always. No we can’t be friends. Your reasons are stupid. And youre being a fuckin fag right now! But its cool. Fuck this shit. Fuck this relationship. And fuck Betsy. I was fuckin your dad the whole time anyway. Ask him how my ass taste!”

And then it was over. He got out of the Hulk, slammed the door, broke the window in the process, and disappeared into the rain. He was gone and I was finally free again. But he was fucking my dad. THAT BITCH.