why do all my best friend's have suicidal tendencies?
i haven't figured it out yet, but that's the common thread. and i don't think i'm the best person to be friends with while having suicidal tendencies. because after everything i went through with the first one (at last count there were nine suicide attempts, none of them took) i'm kind of numb to the "situation".
if anything i'll probably end of saying the wrong thing, and telling you if life sucks so much then just kill yourself. if my love isn't enough to deter you from leaving everything, including me, then go fuck yourself and die. if it takes, it takes. but most of the time they don't.
i don't know what i would do if one actually did decide to commit suicide. if you're catholic, then you automatically end up in purgatory for eternity, from my understanding. but i'm not catholic, no matter how much i wish i was, and i'm not sure if i believe in organized religion. i do believe in God, but i have a lot of questions about some things, but i'll save that for another post.
if one of them decided to actually end their life, the one thing i do know is i won't be at their funeral. thats the one thing i do know. i don't know if i'd be mad though. i probably would though. mainly because i have an ego that rivals Kanye's. i'd be more upset that they killed themself and left me here alone. why isn't my love enough? does my opinion not count? did you even think to tell me you were doing this?
do you see what i did there? i made there suicide about me. EGO, but still no one seems to be able to answer my question.
WHY DO ALL MY BEST FRIEND'S HAVE SUICIDAL TENDENCIES?
I have known two people who killed themselves. The first one upset me, because his mental illness was the root cause, and the treatment was inadequate. He was so alone and frightened: it was tragic. The other guy was a dancer, whose career ended a bit prematurely due to injury. His end was equally solitary. His body wasn't found for some days.
ReplyDeleteWhen somebody we know seems to be in danger of self-harm, they just can not be left alone.
It's not a case of "will I be angry after they are dead?"; rather, it is a case of "How cross will I be if I let them die?".