breaking.point

i'm pretty sure i'm crazy, and if i'm not crazy then i;m at the point where i'm going crazy. or maybe i'm not. who knows. i don't. and this would probably be better if i just posted the video, but i won't, because i'm living a closeted lie, but not really cause i still enjoy the vagina, but what i really want is a man to throw me against a wall every now and again. but either or, i think i'm crazy. and i can't find my pills, which is weird because all i've been doing is cleaning all day, which means i've probably thrown them in the trash, but i need to find them, because it took me a week to get them,and if i don't take them then my heart will probably explode like that yoshi kid, that x guy, was fuckin all raw and shit so he'll probably die of aids cause as we all know only gay men have aids which is why we cant give blood but thats another soap box for another day, like the fact that the revolution in egypt was televised, even though the revelution is not suppose to be televised. but yeah, as you can see my mind isn't really focused and i keep screaming out fuck you alex, because yea. i don't think i was made for sex. i don't think i was made for relationships. i just think i was made, and i was on this awesome path, and this guy came along, felt me up and completely changed the directory of my future and left me a shell of who i should be and yea. i need a macbook, and iturn twenty-one in a day or two, and i dont drink. i hate when my friends drink, and alcohol is a bitch. sometimes ijust wish that kid i thought was my kid was really mine. idk. i just need something more from life then what i have. fuck you alex. we wouldve been great. and fuck you too josuf, just because.

i promise you i'm not crazy. this is just my breaking point. which sounds really dramatic and sad,but trust me if you know me, i have my little "woe is me" moments, because sometimes you have to let it all out.